Fluency Starts Inside: How to Master Your Mindset & Navigate the 3 “Circles of Control”

After learning and teaching foreign languages for over two decades, I've come to a somewhat unintuitive conclusion: the hardest part of learning a language is not the language itself.

Are there certain aspects of learning Chinese, Japanese, etc. that can be tricky? Absolutely. But the truly bitter slice of the language learning pie is everything else that gets between you and actually putting in the requisite time needed to get fluent.

Your schedule. Your environment. Your finances. Your energy. Your attitude.

And with everything going on in the world today—political upheaval, financial stress, and environmental chaos—it can feel harder than ever to carve out the time (and mindset!) you need to study a language every day.

At times like this, I find it helpful to remember the three concentric circles that Stephen Covey detailed in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

1. Circle of Control: Areas where you have direct power to influence outcomes (your own actions, attitudes, and responses to what happens in the world).

2. Circle of Influence: Areas in which you can make an indirect impact through communication, persuasion, and your relationships with friends, family, colleagues, etc.

3. Circle of Concern: Areas that matter, but are outside of your direct control (global events, others' thoughts and decisions, external circumstances, etc.).

Focusing your time and effort on the inner circles maximizes your effectiveness and reduces stress, while giving too much attention to the outer circle accomplishes little (all while amplifying overwhelm and anxiety).

This principle applies just as much to language learning as it does to politics, money, and the environment. Whether you want to get fluent in a language, fight for reform, reach financial independence, or save the planet, the basic recipe is the same:

1. Take responsibility for your own actions, thoughts, and beliefs.

2. Invest your time and energy on productive, self-directed, local activity.

3. Focus on areas of highest leverage and accept what cannot be changed.

But to be clear: I am in no way trying to downplay the importance of current events. Nor am I advocating for ambivalence or complacence. On the contrary! I am simply arguing that you will make the most impact when you aim your precious time and energy at that which you can actually control.

Mastering a new language isn't just about grammar and vocabulary—it's about mastering yourself. By focusing on your circle of control, you transform language learning from an overwhelming challenge into a personal journey of growth and empowerment.

Every minute you invest in learning, every small step you take, is a victory. The world may be complex, but your ability to learn, adapt, and expand your linguistic horizons remains entirely within your power.

The path to fluency begins with a single, intentional step, but then you have to keep walking every single day. So start small, stay consistent, and watch as your language skills—and personal resilience—flourish.